WEEKLY TRAGEDY RECAP 1/30/17-2/6/17: Mosque Shooting, Louvre Stabbing, and Chile on Fire

It’s been awhile since we’ve seen so much variety of the tragedies in a week. A shooting AND a stabbing?! Not to mention an entire nation is on fire and a rodent saw his shadow, which spells certain doom for your chances of wearing shorts on Easter.

This is our weekly recap.

Tuesday 1/31/17- As we reported earlier in the week, a  Pile of Human Garbage shot and killed 6 people in a mosque in Canada (in our earlier article we erroneously said there were 2 shitty shooters). Since the tragedy broke, hundreds of people gathered to march in solidarity of the victims of the shooting.

Latest reports say that the shooter was a “lone wolf,” which is police lingo for “mentally-ill shitheatd who happens to not be associated with a terrorist organization.”

Wednesday 2/1/17- Basically the entire nation of Chile is on fire right now. At least 11 people have died as a result of wildfires that have been raging endlessly across most of the Chile for the past 2 weeks.

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Nearly 1-million acres of forest have been destroyed by the fires, which are being blamed on the record high temperatures and drought that is affecting much of south-America right now.

Also, here’s a crazy thing; in late December, a 17-year old committed suicide, allegedly as a result of the drastic bullying he was experiencing at work. His former Dairy-Queen manager, who was allegedly responsible for much of the bullying, is being tried for manslaughter. Isn’t that nuts? UPDATE: Actually, the jury ruled that she was guilty.

 

Thursday 2/2/17- Tuesday was Groundhog Day. Reportedly, the groundhog saw his shadow which means we can expect 6 more week (eternities) of (nuclear) winter.

And in more evidence that the world has gone topsy-turvy, cat’s are now included in the westminster dog show. What’s next, transgender boy scouts??

Oh…

Also there was a massive standoff at a prison in Delaware. Four prison employees were taken hostage, 1 of them was killed.

Friday 2/3/17- Usually (like 85% of the time) we prefer to talk only about actual tragedies here on Tragedy Weekly, but this Bowling Green Massacre is a bit of a cross-over tragedy. We reported on it twice, and I guess this is the third time. Sigh…

This next tragedy did happen, but calling it a tragedy is a bit of a a stretch, but that’s kind of our whole schtick here. Anyway, a Shitbag armed with 2 machetes attempted to attack bystanders at the underground Carousel du Louvre shopping complex in Paris. The man was promptly shot and killed by a soldier responding to the disturbance. The man was allegedly attempting to stab the soldier.

Bummer, right? It’s a bummer story. But it doesn’t seem like the kind of thing the President of the United States would take time out of his day to tweet about right?

Well, he did.

Did I mention that the Shitbag with the knife yelled  “Allahu Akbar!” (literally translates to “God is Great”) during his attack. So clearly he’s a terrorist.

Also kind of weird that the President was completely silent about the Mosque shooting.

But, whatever!

 

If we missed any major tragedies that we really should have talked about, please tweet us, or email us.

Thoughts, prayers and good vibes to our readership.