Pretty standard fare last week. None of the kinds of tragedies that really pull at the heart strings. This time we just have some boring animal extinctions, bombings on civilians and the reveal of a new iPhone.
Gorilla Almost Extinct
September 4, 2016 – The Eastern Lowland Gorilla, or “Grauer’s gorilla,” has been officially classified as Critically Endangered. Grauer’s Gorilla is the largest known species of ape on earth. This basically means there are enough of these things in the wild that they aren’t good for much except teaching a toddler to count. It also means that toddler will most likely grow up in a world without them.
It’s a bummer when this happens. Many gorilla species are getting closer to extinct every year. This is mostly because of poaching. Apparently, a lot of people poach gorillas for bush meat. Chicken and beef just isn’t enough for everybody I guess.
Further Reading: Environment News Service, The Interdependent
Bombings in Kabul
September 5, 2016 – Taliban forces coordinated two bombings on the Afghan security forces forces in Kabul. The first bombing is alleged to have been a suicide bomb, whereas the other was detonated shortly after, targeting the people who came to help.
At least 24 people were killed in the bombings and dozens more were injured. That kinda stuff is happening over there all the time though, right?
Further Reading: NPR, New York Times
People Can’t be Trusted with Nature
September 6, 2016 – A bunch of douche bags knocked over a trillion year old land formation at Cape Kiwanda State Natural Area in Oregon. The sandstone pedestal was known as “the duckbill” by tourists and locals. The formation, which took God-Almighty the entire age of the earth to create, was toppled over by some guys who claim their friend broke his leg on it.
The pedestal was behind a fence and was officially designated as off limits. So their friend is an idiot.
Nature is great. It took a long time to get the way it is and it’s not done yet either. Humanity, on the other hand, can’t have that much longer to go.
New iPhone Announced
September 7, 2016 – Apple is probably going to keep announcing new iPhones, and there’s not much we can do about it. This time they announced they’d be getting rid of the headphone jack. It will be replaced with wireless Bluetooth headphones, and wired headphones that connect to the lightening jack.
Like every change that ever happens in the history of the world, people complained about the announcement, but they’ll deal with it anyway until they forget they ever had a problem with it in the first place.
Hillary Clinton Pneumonia
September 11th, 2016 – During a 9/11 tribute ceremony Hillary Clinton fell down, causing a media firestorm of speculation and ridicule. Eventually, about 15 minutes later, it was revealed that Hillary has been diagnosed with pneumonia.
This just happened yesterday so there’s not a whole lot of information yet. Hillary has cancelled some campaign stops though.
Further Reading: New York Times, Wall Street Journal
That’s it for this week. Follow us on Twitter for more tragedy updates.
Thoughts, prayers, and good vibes to our readership.